


Living The Dream

by KillerQueen80



Category: Glee
Genre: Bodily Functions, M/M, domestic!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-23
Updated: 2013-08-23
Packaged: 2017-12-24 08:50:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/938008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerQueen80/pseuds/KillerQueen80
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine has always thought that finally living with Kurt would be full of romance. He never thought about the other parts, the less than romantic smell parts. Warning for realist portrayal of bodily functions. There's poop and snot guys.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Living The Dream

Living with his boyfriend is everything Blaine expected it to be. He expected to fight with Kurt for an hour over the space in their shared closet. He expected that he himself would flip out the first time Kurt moved something of his from the home he'd made for it. He expected weekends spent cuddling in front of a RuPaul's Drag Race marathon, arguing for the hundredth time over RuPaul's choice of Sharon Needles over Chad Michaels (Blaine was firmly Team Chad and felt vindicated when he won All Stars).

There were some things, though, that Blaine thinks that maybe they might have romanticized just a bit. And some things he never would have considered.

Like the fact that Kurt farts in his sleep sometimes.

It's not like they'd never shared a bed before, they had. And maybe Blaine was too sexed out those prior times to notice it.

Blaine's sleeping, curled into Kurt's side when he opens his eyes and sniffs, immediately frowning and covering his nose. He tries shaking Kurt to wake him up, but Kurt pushes his hands away and rolls onto his stomach. Blaine grumbles, gets up and goes into the bathroom, coming out with the Fabreze and spraying the room.

Of course, the next day, Kurt denies it.

"I did not! You were clearly dreaming. I would never. "

"Kurt, my eyes were burning. The room smelled so bad that it woke me up."

Kurt blushes before raising his head defiantly, "That is disgusting. You should know me well enough by now to know that I would get up and go to the bathroom, seriously Blaine."

"Whoever denied it, supplied it."

Kurt just rolls his eyes and gets out of bed.

The worst though, is when one of them gets sick. Blaine always imagined that living with Kurt would mean that they'd take care of each other when they're sick. Cover each other with kisses and make soup.

Kurt is lying in bed, surrounded by tissues, Bring It On playing on the TV on the wall above their bed.

Blaine comes into the room and brings Kurt a glass of Orange juice.

"Thanks, Cutie."

"You're welcome, sweetie. How are you feeling?"

"I still feel like I swallowed a chainsaw and I can only smell snot, but better than yesterday. "

"Aw, my poor baby. I can make you feel a little better."

Blaine straddles Kurt and leans down to kiss down the side of his neck. He grabs Kurts hands in his, pinning them to the bed.

"Mmm, you should take your pants-"

Kurt doesn't finish his sentence and instead starts coughing violently. Blaine sits up and lets go of Kurt's hands just in time for Kurt to then sneeze all over his face.

Blaine smiles sadly at Kurt who hands him a tissue with an apologetic smile.

"Maybe not."

"I am so sorry, Blaine!"

"It's not your fault. Let's just watch the movie." Blaine climbs off Kurt and lies down next to him.

But if being stuck taking care of each other's germs is gross, Being sick at the same time is ten times worse.

Blaine sits with his forehead resting on the edge of the toilet and closes his eyes, reaching blindly to flush.

He wipes a tear from his eye as Kurt knocks on the bathroom door.

"Blaine are you done? Please tell me you're done!"

"Kurt, no, I think there's more. Go to the other one."

Blaine stands up and starts to unbuckle his belt, he grabs the trashcan from next to the toilet.

"I don't think I can make it that far, Blaine."

"Kurt... I...," Blaine doesn't finish his sentence, he quickly drops his pants, and sits down on the toilet and grabs the trash can and throws up into it.

Later that night, Blaine stumbles into the bedroom and starts to get onto the bed. Kurt lifts his hand to stop him, removing the washcloth from over his eyes.

"Wait, please move slowly!"

"Kurt..." Blaine whines, crawling onto the bed anyway. The mattress shakes and Kurt gets up with his hand over his mouth and runs to the bathroom. Blaine collapses onto the bed.

A week after the Stomach Flu from hell, Burt and Carole come to visit.

"So, boys, what’s it like to finally live together?" Carole asks, as Kurt finishes bringing dinner over to the table and sits down join them.

"It's great!" They answer in unison.

Burt and Carole glance at each other and back at Kurt and Blaine before they both start to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Kurt questions, frowning at his meal.

"It's completely different than sleeping over at each other's places isn't it?" Burt asks with a laugh.

"Well, you'd think after being together as long as we have, I would have known that Blaine is a mouth breather who drools on people."

"You fart in your sleep, Kurt."

"I do not. Whoever smelt it dealt it."

"He's done that since he was a baby. I have video proof. Your Mom and I used to think it was hilarious."

Kurt scowls at Burt.

"What's a little drool between boyfriends, not like you don't share bodily fluids," Carole comments, Blaine and Kurt both hide their faces.

"Oh come on, you live together, the jig is up. We're just teasing you. We've both been there."

"Nothing like finding out that the person you love doesn't always smell good, no matter how pretty they are. It's human nature."

"But it's worth it, right? All the gross stuff and bathroom habits, you get used to that, but there's nothing like waking up next to them every day," Carole says, Blaine smiles and takes Kurt's hand and brings it to his mouth for a kiss.

"Besides, you think this is bad, wait till you have kids."


End file.
